Old News, But Still Funny

A search reveals posts about this on different message boards from as early as Feb 2005. I've edited all of these for suitability; the sites I've linked to aren't necessarily family-friendly.

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly
Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

(Some liberals I know are already proving the existence of their own 'bozone' by trying to mis-apply these in a typical attempt to mock conservatives rather than address any actual issues. So far, in spite of my attempt to discover otherwise, liberalism seems mostly based on sentimentality, suspicion and name-calling. If I had a rolling-eyes icon, it would go here. I haven't given up. Maybe I just need to find more informed liberals.)

And here are some that were added by members of a Theology message board:

Triskyslexiphobia: the fear of the number 31.
Agcrostic: a person who doesn't know whether or not to complete word puzzles.
Theomockracy: A government that professes to be "of the people" and yet operates under religious law or gives veto power to non-elected clerics. (i.e., some so-called Islamic "Republics").
Scalienate: to drive a wedge between the law and the people it serves by appointing hyper-conservative justices to the nation's highest court.
Emailienate: to drive away one's relatives and friends by constant streams of e-mail glurge.
Vacildate: When you cannot figure out which girl to call so she can turn you down.
Tanachronism: Your skin complextion when you come back home after a mid-winter vacation in the Bahamas
Tanakhronism: Asking how many animals Moses took on the ark.
Arachnarchy: Rule by Spiders.

from another message board:

Ebyss: a vast pit where errant emails sent through Web Sites go, never to be replied to on-line.
Densa: A group whose sum total IQ equals 160
Tensa: To join you must have blood pressure over 160
Zensa: They're like, on a totally higher plane, man.
Sensa: A group of really smart people who know better than to send money to self agrandizing organizations. Obviously, there are no dues.

from Word Freaks:

Hatador (n.) One who kills ugly hats (trucker ballcaps, tourist hats, hats with corporate logos, elaborate hats worn by old English dames)
Miva (interj.) [Ital.] Long live ME!
Textraoridinary (adj.) beyond the usual amount of text required
Resighn (v.) the sigh one makes when realizing s/he won't get what they wanted.
Sellphone: the realization that your phone service is soooo bad, that you might as well sell the phone and just start yelling (guess something similar could work for Yellphone as well)
Knome: One of a fabled race of know-it-all creatures who hoard information for wrongful dissemintation.

from Sounding Circle:

Coffence: keeping people away from you by pretending to be sick
Top Prayority: whatever you ask God for first
Investigator: stock broker for crocodiles
Arrestaurant: cafe for criminals
Cameraflage: undercover photography
Lobstervation: crustatean research
Acuesticks: sounds inside a pool hall
Pagerism: a journalist using someone else's beeper
Raguru: Eastern mystic who meditates on pasta
Burniture: chairs you get from a fire sale
Jobstacle: anything that prevents you from doing your work

Also seen on Sounding Circle - a blogger's list of the effects of playing music by composers other than Mozart to your child.

Liszt effect: Child speaks rapidly and extravagantly, but never really says anything important.
Bruckner effect: Child speaks very slowly and repeats himself frequently. Gains reputation for profundity.
Wagner effect: Child becomes a megalomaniac. May eventually marry his sister.
Mahler effect: Child continually screams - at great length and volume - that he's dying.
Schöenberg effect: Child never repeats a word until he's used all the other words in his vocabulary. Sometimes talks backwards, up-side-down, even up-side-down and backwards -- usually in early teens. Eventually, people stop listening to him. Child blames them for their inability to understand him.
Babbitt effect: Child gibbers nonsense all the time. Eventually, people stop listening to him. Child doesn't care because all his playmates think he's "cool."
The John Cage Effect: Child is silent but rotates his arm clockwise then counterclockwise 45 minutes at time. Alec Wilder is offered a record contract if he can cut the piece down to 39 minutes.