Raising Your Spirited Child Part 1 (of 5)

Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka

I'm going to quickly go through what's in this book. I don't want to give away so much that you don't need to read the book yourself, but, hopefully, if you have a Spirited Child, having a taste of what's in this book will convince you that it's just the book you need. :)

Part 1 - Understanding Spirit

Spirited kids are more intense, more persistent, more sensitive than other kids. "On the good days, being the parent of a spirited child is astounding, dumbfounding, wonderful, funny, interesting, and interspersed with moments of brilliance. The dreadful days are another story. On those days, you're not sure you can face another 24 hours with him. It's hard to feel good at parenting when you can't even get his socks on, when every word you've said to him has been a reprimand, when the innocent act of serving tuna casserole instead of the expected tacos incites a riot, when you realize you've left more public places in a huff with your child in five years than most parents do in a lifetime. You feel weary, drained, and much too old for this even if you were only in your twenties when your child was born. It's hard to love a kid who keeps you up at night and embarrasses you in shopping centers."

Then follows a list of nine characteristics that spirited kids often have - intensity, persistence, sensitivity, etc. Parents didn't cause their kids to be spirited, and they aren't alone. Spirited kids often grow up to use their intensity creatively.

The first step is changing the way spirited kids are labelled. It's much easier for us mentally to deal with a child who's "flexible," "assertive" and "curious" - rather than one who's "unpredictable," "stubborn," and "nosy." And positive labels help the child to focus on his strengths, rather than feel discouraged as a failure who has nothing but faults.

Is hyper-sensitivity a problem? Is your child unable to adapt, or very perceptive? There's a chapter to help parents determine which specific character traits/temperament types apply to their particular child. There's also a chapter to help parents figure out their own type, and see how it "fits" with their child. That can help you find working solutionsl and establish boundaries based on your specific case and comfort level.